Thursday, October 21, 2010

A brief note further

In some ways, I feel that this blog is becoming a heavy weight because I expect too much of myself. Most of my philosophy is done talking to people, where my opinions can change radically throughout the course of a conversation, and even over the passage of time. However, I've been treating each of these blog posts as an essay. Take the previous one on education and reality. I wrote that one for about two hours, editing it more than I did school papers. If anyone is a regular reader of this blog, they'll notice that my output is very small. I think that's in part because of the enormous amount of time and effort I put into writing them. It becomes chore like.

Another aspect is that I feel pressured to have an argument to hand. Maybe it's because of the lack of a conversation format where I'm just expostulating about some topic or another, but I feel like I haven't told you how to think by the end of a post, I've let you down. That's something I'm not used to, and I'm not sure if I like it. It doesn't fit with the way I think. I always aim for the conversation, not the answers. It helps that I don't think there are answers in the first place, so they're not worth shooting for. But either way, I always feel a little false when I come down with a firm opinion about some topic or another, because I don't feel certain. I never feel certain; that's the joy and wonder of philosophy. I don't know the answers, and I don't think I ever will. I revel in being able to argue with myself. To present a defense of utilitarianism while at the same time jumping in with reasons I think it's wrong, just to dive in again with reasons I think it's right. Or to do that with education, or happiness (a topic that'll be coming up soon). It's always my joy to be undecided, and I feel like my format heretofore has been robbing me of that delightful indecision.

I've been finding it to be the case that this blog isn't going to work well as a conversation (that's on me: I need to entice you guys here in order to talk in the first place before a conversation can start). So my original intent of using it to put forth and argument, and then join in on the feeding frenzy of people tearing it apart isn't going to fly in the near term. So I'm going to change the way I work with this blog. It's going to be less formal argumentation, more personal thought. I hope to not feel as obligated to present a coherent argument and more obligated to share more interesting questions.

This looser sort of mulling will require shorter posts, which will be hard on me (I'm the same way talking; I love to ramble). But shorter posts will keep me more on target, and prevent things from getting muddled in a jumble of thoughts falling on top of each other. I can't say I hope that you all enjoy the changes that shall come, as I don't know if I even have steady readers. But I hope that I will enjoy the different format, and I hope I can write more frequently in the near future.

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